Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I need to sanitize my soul.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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