Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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