Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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