idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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