Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
