So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
