drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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