ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
