A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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