How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
