My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
