Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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