Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
