i don't like sucking hair
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
