is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
honey bunches of taint.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
