It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
