she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
