so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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