bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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