omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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