Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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