I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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