he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
