Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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