sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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