I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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