i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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