Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
as a side note pls kill me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
