I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
