Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
