it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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