Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
