oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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