Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
