I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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