i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
