peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
