When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
