I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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