Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
