I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
