How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I smell stomach acid.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
