I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
