is wine microwaveable?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
