I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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