So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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