She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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