i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
