You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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