I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
