Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
