Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You took a bar mat shot.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
