It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we're chasing vodka with high fives
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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