It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
