i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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