I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
