Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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