So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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