adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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