Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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